Flu

My poor baby has the flu. I should have known the day before when he fell asleep in the middle of the day. Malachi doesn't take naps unless he doesn't feel well. He had been up since 3:30 that morning so we thought he was just tired. Last night he fell asleep before six on the couch which also isn't like him. So around eight I decided to carry him to bed. He felt really warm to me but I just went ahead and let it go, thinking it could be my imagination. Around 9:30 PM he falls out of bed and starts to cry. I run in there to get him and at this time I am positive he has a fever. It was around 103. He only wants daddy and he is still crying. We finally are able to get him to take some medicine and that seems to help for awhile. Needless to say we are up with him all night long. Poor Mike he has to work in the morning and Malachi is achy and only wants daddy. Malachi can't express inward pain. For example if he has a belly ache, he can't tell us. If his head hurts he can't tell us. All these things that I think are wrong with him are just assumptions. Mike leaves for work around 6:20 and I have decided to take him to the ER instead of waiting on the doctors office to open. Before we left he still have a fever of 101. We get in there and they exam him and do a swab. From this we find that has tested positive for the Flu. My poor little guy. So he has been resting most of the day and still only wanting daddy when he is awake. I hope he gets better soon. I sure don't like to see my baby sick.

Simple Pleasures

Malachi loves snow. Most people don't enjoy the coldness of it, or how it can make it difficult for driving among many other things. But for Malachi it's one of his many simple pleasures. He has no concept that its can be a major pain. This is one of the reasons I  learned to love snow. When you tell him that its going to snow, his face lights up and he says "snow". There was a time when he was afraid of snow. Wouldn't even want to go outside to be near it, even if you were carrying him. Didn't want anything to do with it. Then one year his Papa decided to take him outside and get on the ground with him, and roll around it in until he was soaked to the bone just so that my little boy could understand what snow was all about. That is what life is with Malachi. Taking the time to help him understand something he doesn't. It is not a simple task and it is not one we take lightly. We win some, we lose some but its worth it. The joy you see on his face when he finally does understand it, is the best reward for me as a parent. This is why I love snow. Because its the simple things we overlook sometimes that can make you feel like a child all over again. It warms my heart even if its knee deep and freezing because its a simple pleasure for a little boy who stole my heart seven years ago.

My Favorite Things...

Being a mom or even a parent can bring you much joy. These are a few of my favorite things that Malachi does that melts my heart, makes me laugh and sometimes even cry.

I love how he loves to "ok snuggle the house" I love that when he says "kiss the love of my life" he means me and its always on the base of my right jaw. I won't always be the love of his life I will take it while I can.  I love how small his hand is in the palm of my hand and the softness of it. He won't always be small and one day holding his hand will hold a different meaning. I love how he loves his daddy. No matter how cool mom is (or I think I am) at the end of the day, Daddy is still who he wants. 

I love to hear him sing. I love that the small mesh laundry basket that we have is used for an ambulance on our kitchen floor as he says beep, beep, beep and backing it in. I love that he expects me everyday after school to get him off the bus and the look of excitement when I am always there. I love to hear him read. Sometimes you can understand it, sometimes you can't, but he can and that's important. I love that the simple things in life like snow, he expects in June so he can play in it. I love that Malachi doesn't understand that he is different and he loves everyone the same regardless of their past. Most of all I am glad that God gave him to me. I wouldn't be the mother I am without him.

First Time Mom

I am a mother of a 7 year old boy. When I found out I was pregnant in December of 2002, I was so happy and scared all at the same time. Every mom has all these dreams and goals of what their child will be like, how they will look, what they will become. I didn't know any different. Malachi was born in July of 2003. They lost his heart beat during delivery so we had to have an emergency c-section. At that time he still was what we thought a perfect normal baby. We were so thrilled to add this precious little boy to our family. At about 3 months we could tell that he wasn't developing the way we thought he should. We waited to do anything because I thought we could be overreacting being a new mom and all. As time progressed he still couldn't sit up, he wasn't trying to crawl. He wasn't forming words. He wouldn't look at us. So we decided at this time we should have him checked out. He went to his regular check ups but our current doctor just thought he would just outgrow it. But that wasn't and isn't the case.

We finally got referred to a children's hospital three hours away. The fear sets in. The first appointment was a disaster. We had a hard time finding the hospital, we ended up being about an hour late to the appointment. The doctor still agreed to see us since we drove so far. Over the next few appointments we had a diagnosis. Not just one several. My son was diagnosed with Autism, Microcephaly , Cerebral Palsy and Severe Mental Retardation. None of them as severe as they could be, but the combination of them all left us with a what now kind of attitude. Our neuro doctor told us we will either deal with it or we won't, some parents can't. To us it wasn't an option he was our baby no matter what.
Over the next 7 years we have learned some things. We have had really long days and nights. The road hasn't been an easy one to travel. But he is still the perfect baby we wanted just in a different way now, after all I am Malachi's mom.